08 Juni 2012


When Google entered the social media scene with Google+, one of facebook's response was making its friend lists feature (which is similar to G+'s circles) more user friendly. But facebook being facebook, it assumed (perhaps correctly) that most people are too lazy to create such lists, and made the lists for us. That's how I ended up with lists such as Bandung Area and Acquaintances which tell me pretty much nothing about nothing. It also seems like facebook using its (in)famous EdgeRank algorithm and suggesting everyone to put their (high ranked) friends into a list called Close friends. facebook really gives a new edge for the phrase pilih-pilih teman :D

But lately, I just realize that I'm quite picky when it comes to friends. At least, lately, say, since a couple of years ago. No more than five, I'm quite sure. I'm always a phlegmatic, only being a pseudo-sanguine for a couple years in college LFM. But I could get along with everyone. Granted, being a phlegmatic, I adapted myself to the crowd I was in. But now, I think I'm just tired of doing that. Work occupies a great deal of my time and my mind. It also an environment when I have to adapt: rules, hierarchy, colleagues etc. Therefore, when I'm with friends, I want to be myself (whatever the hell that means). I want to be comfortable being myself*.

And I can't do that with everyone. It's not their fault. Or my fault. It's just the way it is. It's like what I wrote and quoted before here, only with a broader scope.

That's why I'm picky. Not in the sense of cutting people out entirely. Not deleting phone number, or unfriending on facebook, or unfollowing on twitter. I mean, we're not in high school (granted, none of those things existed when we were in high school). Just prefer some people's company more than the others. That's why, for my second time in NL, I still hung out with the same (remaining) people I used to hang out with the first time (and went solo-travel twice because none of those people were available to travel with me). I think it's fairer this way, for everyone.

Today I realize, people can cut me out too. Including people that I love to hang out with. Fair enough. I may not be a good friend for some people too.

But it's worth pursuing, isn't it? You can google thousands of quotes about how pure and selfless friendship is. You can put it together with an irrelevant instagram picture. Doesn't mean it's true, not always.

I'm, now, trying not to take my friends for granted. They are just too precious.

*I don't really believe in 'leaving your comfort zone' BS :D

5 komentar:

  1. omagah! kok bisa sama gini tema curhatannya??? :))))
    ayo "makaaaan" :))

  2. haha iya... makanya gue kaget tergeli2 gitu baca post lo :D
    tapi sebenarnya kita kebalik ya vir. secara plegmatis sama sanguinis gitu hahaha

  3. I guess characters don't matter much when it comes to friendship principles :)

  4. 1. Reading your post, I suddenly start to wonder how social media is used (or misused in some level :p) by teenager nowadays in the age when you're still geng-gengan, pilih-pilih temen, mencari jati diri kind of things. I imagine, it could be scary for some kids. At least, it could be scary for me. :p

    2. Before, I always thought it's not nice to unfriend any of my friend in facebook. But I changed my rules lately. The categories are constant annoying statuses, constant d'BCN statuses *ups*, and...yeah, itu aja sih. I don't know, I hope I'm not too hayang eksis anymore maybe, and I put my comfort first (on browsing my timeline), and my consolation is that 'you are still my friend kok, although I unfriend you here.':p

    3. I think Close Friend is very good feature if we have crush on someone or want to stalk someone. I'll remember to do it later if needed. Hahaha...

  5. @wildy:

    1. really?

    2. unfriending is not really nice because that 'friend' can find out that you're unfriending him/her. that's why I do friend list before it was default *penting*

    3. You can put your kecengan and pengeceng there. The first one so you can always have updates on her. The second one so she knows what you're really like, in case she wants to back off :P