23 April 2011


Talking to a psychiatrist/psychologist/shrink/what-nots at the age of 32 is funny.

I took Competence Assessment last month, a 'course' suggested for first year PhD students, which basically is a psychotest. Maybe it's worth noted that if you do things in the right order, you do your first year of PhD at the age of 24 :P

When I did the test (including a standard MBTI where I had to choose whether I enjoy listening to sexual jokes and the likes), I started questioning myself. Why the hell was I doing this? No, not the PhD (which I do, sometimes), but the test. I first took this kind of test some 15 years ago, and I don't remember how many I took since. Almost all of them were job placement thingies, so to be fair, I didn't get the results. But still...

And the suspicion was confirmed when I did the consultancy about the result. Yeah, I got one or two new 'insights', but none were entirely surprising. I will get the complete report later, so there's probably still surprise waiting, but I don't expect much.

The day before the consultancy, I read this article. I'm not totally stressed out agree, but it sparks some truth.
I’m not stressed out because I’m single. I’m stressed out by the idea that it’s becoming painfully obvious that by having a mostly-formed life, interests, opinions and requirements, that it’s quite possible I’ll never find someone who both fits in the space and wants to make an effort to stay in it. I’ve never been good at faith, but I have to believe that somewhere out there is someone for me. And until I find that someone, I just have to keep working towards making my life what I want without them. For as much as I’d like to share my life with someone, my lack of having them cannot be a driving force as long as there is still so much out there to do.
Cute, eh? :D

2 komentar:

  1. Uh wowow... the latest two postings- are they the signs of 30 something syndrome? :D

  2. haha... just a coincidence. and procrastinating too much on thoughtcatalog/dearblankpleaseblank/grouchyrabbit et al