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What's it like to fall and hit the end
To have and to hold
You are my only old friend
You worth the gold I stole
I'd find the right use
If I could cut myself loose

Everything here is above board
Everything here is a closed door
There's something I'd like you for
You've got the key to the ocean
You've got the key to the ocean
(Ocean Pie - Shed Seven)

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Hello Rani,

Thanks for enquiring about thesis subjects in my group. Unfortunately, both projects that are most related to environmental engineering will end soon, which makes it impossible to offer you a subject in these projects. We can offer you a subject in one of the projects on production of biological control agents for control of malaria mosquitoes; we design different bioreactors for growing fungal spores in solid-state fermentation and these spores will be used to kill mosquitoes. Please let me know whether you're interested.

Kind regards,
Arjen

higs :(

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The guy who uploaded the trailer to youtube said You, The Living is "...like Bergman directing Monty Python." I haven't seen neither Bergman nor Monty Python, but for you who have, that may give some clue :D

Actually I don't see any point of making this post since I can't do a review of the movie. I like it, but I can't really tell why. I just... like it.

It consists of series of sketches, doesn't necessarily related to each other. Absurd. Funny. Sad. Happy. Bitter. Bitter.

Just like life itself, actually, if you see it in a grim mood. S**t happens. But you live. You, live.

Maybe I just haven't seen this kind of movie for quite a while. It's very European (ooh... s**t, this is really a shallow judgment), the look, the feel, the tone. I'm not all into festival movie in the if-it-goes-to-festival-means-it's-good way. And I don't always despise Holywood either (well I do, sometimes). It's just when it's good, it's good. D**n, I think I better stop.

-picture was taken from lovefilm.com.

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Mati Ketawa Cara Rusia (Indonesian translation of Russian Dies Laughing) is the first joke book I've ever read and without a doubt the best. I first read it when I was in elementary school and still couldn't understand some jokes. Years after, that book still made me laugh out loud. When I started get in touch with the internet, I found bunch of internet jokes which IMHO are just rip-off from those of that book. And bad rip-offs too. Of course, later in life I have to face the fact that jokes are ripped off, modified, recycled, and even made into comedy sketches.

Chat with Bondy the other day about evolution of spam reminds me that somehow, jokes are also evolved. I think even Oom Adnan will agree on this.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

Roby sent this to ISA mailing list a couple of weeks ago. I remember that I had received the same joke, with slightly different ending. Fast googling and, voila!

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic, and will not freeze.

This student received the only A.

Analyzing these jokes, it's funny that they give the same answer (exothermic) from different fact (the state of temperature in hell), so one of them must be wrong. I further google and found two other variations with endothermic as the answer.

I don't know how this joke can evolve this way. I mean, getting laid and not does make a difference so there's a need of creativity somewhere to make another version. But the rest is merely just copy-paste work.

So which one is the original? In my opinion, it most likely the second one, because it's kind of 'rough' and, at some point, honest. But the most important thing, it's thermodynamically incorrect! (Which is a bit weird because the author had managed to derive a thorough explanation but made a mistake on the conclusion, oh well...) So probably someone feel irritated and wrote the correct version.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an affair with her, then number 2 above cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and will not freeze over.

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

Then someone thought, what if the poor student succeeded to hit on that Miss Teresa?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman Year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Which is a little bit funnier, but the author forgot some basics of thermodynamics. So someone came up with the first version in the beginning of this post. Finally, the poor lucky student get laid and give the correct answer at the same time. Therefore he deserved an A+. Score!

PS: Someone with initial J.I.M. wrote the rather unpublished version

If we accept the postulate given to me by Desi Ratnasari during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student did not pass the course.

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Quotes of the week/Kutipan minggu ini (halah, ko ga enak ya?):

Hati2 meninggalkan buku bagus. Agama2 tertentu menganggap pahala mencari ilmu jauh lebih besar daripada dosa mencuri buku. (dari sini)

Everything I have ever done, I've done for you! (Great Expectations versi Cuaron)

Radi is benci tapi rindu sama facebook. (status di facebook)

Membeku! (gue chat sama Ifan. ah sial, keburu offline lo ya? giliran gue nemu jawaban yang lucu aja)

Bisa ga km beli coffee machine, tapi dipake bwt bikin teh atw susu? (Ruly, di facebook gue)

"What do I touch?"
"Your heart."
"Broken!"
(Great Expectations aslinyah)

...dan semua keributan di milis tetangga, hahaha (maap tanpa taut, abis arsipnya publik, kalo belum diubah sama pak mod)

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Periode ini gue ngambil kuliah Microbial Ecology. Sebenarnya udah ga harus ngambil kuliah si, tapi gue emang pingin kuliah ini karena dua alasan. Pertama, karena emang gue agak-agak kurang di mikrobiologi, bisa dibilang gak punya dasar sama sekali. Kedua, gue pernah beberapa kali ikut kuliahnya Gosse, dan dia ngajarnya asik banget. Hmm... jadi inget pingin bikin tulisan tentang dosen-dosen yang menginspirasi.

Pas mulai kuliah, ketemu alasan ketiga. Dosen satunya, Hauke, guanteng banget. Haah... gue ampe menghela napas begini.

Tapi tetep aja si, mo ganteng kaya gimana, masi aja gitu gue cengo' pas kuliahnya. Ga ngerti. Udah gitu pas tiga minggu pertama, tantangannya puasa. Minggu terakhir, habis makan siang. Hasilnya sama: ngantuk. Duh... ga kece banget deh gue terkantuk-kantuk di depan Hauke gitu.

Walhasil, ekspektasi nilai gue menurun secara eksponensial dari minggu ke minggu.

Tapi kuliahnya bagus si, beneran. Dan walopun ga nyambung secara langsung, tapi lumayan ngasi perspektif lain buat tesis gue. Eh, kok jadi serius gini ya?

Sebenarnya ada satu hal yang bikin gue penasaran. Udah agak lama juga si, sejak kuliah Biogeochemical Cycles dulu (Gosse ngajar juga di situ), dan lebih terkonfirmasi di kuliah ini. Kalo ngeliat mikroorganisme, kayanya banyak sekali aspek yang cuma bisa dijelaskan dengan teori evolusi.

Pertanyaan gue, adakah yang bisa menjelaskan, kalo ga pake teori evolusi, terus alternatif penjelasannya kaya gimana? Ga kebayang... Ada anak biologi di sini?

PS#1: Duh tulisan ini udah kelamaan ketunda. Jadinya garing ya?
PS#2: Oh iya, emang udah niat nulis ini, bukan karena om yang satu itu berubah pikiran :D

376

I hesitated to write this posting for quite sometime. Not because it's embarassing or anything (well, depend on how you see it, hehe), but because it involves how I feel about some of my friends, which can lead to misunderstanding. But anyway, here goes.

It started with the stupid tagging game. Take a look at number 10 that I wrote oh-so-proudly.

I stop using other's parameter for judging my life and feel happy ever since

Now, just leave it like that.

Earlier this week, a good friend of mine announced that he's married. And I was, you know, kind of upset. Or very upset. I don't know.

Upset. Strange.

It's not that he's my ex or I had feeling for him or anything. Nothing like that. And he told me that he was getting married, so it shouldn't be a big surprise.

Then it hits me. I was jealous that he's married. And I'm not. While I probably should. Or expected to. Whatever.

But what about the stop-using-other's-parameter-blah?

Maybe I didn't really mean that. I just wrote that because it sounds brave. Or as Rangga told Cinta, prinsipil.

Or maybe even worse. Maybe I thought that my life was better than him. I thought he messed up, so I can't accept when he's married. And I'm not.

The second hit. Maybe I don't stop using other's parameter to judge my life. Maybe I just look upon those whose life (I thought) is messier than me, so I can feel happy about myself.

At that point I was a jealous unmarried girl who felt bad about herself and her feeling toward her friends.

But then, Heidy replied to the useless prinsipil.

t'Rani.... itu kata-kata terngiang-ngiang2 terus dlm kepalaku...huks...so inspiring ^_^

From all the stupid things that I wrote, from all my friends who can reply, she replied that.


And I started to laugh. At myself. GOD IS THE BEST COMEDY WRITER!

Fabiayyi alaa'i rabbikumaa tukaddzibaan
Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?

-You read this, right? Do forgive me for I don't know what. I am sincerely happy for you and wishing you all the best, for now and always. Can you consider this as a gift, so I don't have to prepare angpao? I will miss the makan-makan anyway :D

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Pagi ini gue dapet pesan offline seperti ini:

Kurangi mengkonsumsi TEH Jangan membiasakan memakan roti yg telah dipanggang. Jaga jarakmu dari telepon genggam DALAM KONDISI DI CHARGE Minum banyak AIR pagi hari, jangan mudah percaya kabar burung,kurangi minum pada malam hari Jangan meminum kopi DUA KALI satu hari Kurangi makanan BERMINYAK Waktu tidur terbaik dari 10pm sampai 6am Jangan makan BESAR setelah 5pm Jangan minum alkohol lebih dari satu gelas satu hari Jangan meminum pil dgn air DINGIN Jangan langsung berbaring setelah minum obat Ketika baterai LOW , jgn menjawab telpon, radiasi yg dihasilkan bisa 1000x Jangan Menjawab telpon dgn TELINGA KANAN karena akan merusak otakmu secara langsung Jangan mempergunakan headphone dlm jangka waktu yang LAMA Forward msg ini ke teman2 kamu, jika kamu sayang padanya.

Bukan pesannya yang gak biasa, tapi pengirimnya. Bondy. Orang yang berhati mulia, bukan kebiasaannya nyepam seperti ini. Gue buka mukabuku, ternyata Bondy juga mengirimkan pesan yang sama ke orang-orang lain, salah satunya aribaba.

Aneh.

Gue coba mengajak chat, gak dijawab. Liat statusnya, idle.

Duh, ada apa ini?

Jangan-jangan ada segerombolan pasukan bersenjata menodongkan Uzi ke kepala Bondy dan memaksanya mengirimkan pesan ini ke semua kontaknya di YM. TIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

-efek baru bangun, minggu tenang yang tidak tenang, dan Rahasia Meede. Kombinasi mematikan!

374

Ada dua kebiasaan di internet yang mengganggu gue akhir-akhir ini. Hmm... gak persis akhir-akhir ini sih, tapi kebetulan keingetan aja.

Kebiasaan jelek di milis: tidak menghapus bagian email yang tidak perlu, meneruskan email tanpa mengedit, meneruskan email hoax, tidak mau membuat thread baru (hanya membalas email lama dan mengganti judul, padahal isinya sama sekali berbeda, dan tetap tidak menghapus isi email lamanya), dst dst. Untungnya sebagian besar milis gue taro di gmail (tuhan memberkati Google deh!). Semula ada 3 milis yang gue taro di yahoo, semua digest (gue udah gak sabar buka yahoo kalo gak digest). Tapi yaa... dengan digest, kebiasaan-kebiasaan buruk di atas menjadi sangat menyebalkan. Akhirnya gue gak tahan, 2 dari 3 milis itu gue set untuk dibaca di yahoogroups. Gue merasa jenius.
(posting terkait)

Kebiasaan nge-add gak jelas di jejaring sosial. Apaan siiiiiih? Heran deh. Kalo emang ga kenal, ngapain nge-add segala? Silaturahmi? Mo kenalan? Ya ngomong yang jelas dong. "Foto-foto lo bagus, gue suka. Gue add ya?" Atau "Gue temennya si C yang sodaranya si F yang adiknya si D, dulu kita ketemu di P sebelum ke kawinannya L dan H. Gue add lo ya?"
(posting terkait)

Hehe, kenapa gue jadi penggerutu gini yah? Kesannya gue begitu tidak punya waktunya untuk membaca email. Dan begitu banyak orang yang tidak gue kenal yang mengundang gue ke jejaring sosialnya. Padahal gue cuma rindu komen. Halah.

-harusnya email diterjemahkan jadi surat-e, tapi males, hihi

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Gue makan di multiply, hehe.

372

Udah lama gak makan curhat. Secara fisik maksudnya. Sambil menyesap secangkir kopi. Menonton orang lalu-lalang di pusat dunia kita. Dan melambaikan tangan karena pasti ada aja seseorang yang dikenal lewat (itulah kenapa namanya pusat dunia).

Kangen.

-ah, kangen itu state of mind, ran

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Karena ga mau sendirian di hari lebaran, kemarin sepulang solat ied masak-masak di rumah (yang lain masak-masak, gue cuci piring, hehe). Abis itu makan-makan di Meis. Lanjut siaran (2 pendengar di rumah dan 7 pendengar di studio). Balik jam 11 malem.

Ga sempet ngerasa kesepian.

Tapi tetap ada yang kurang.

Tapi, sungguh, gue gak bisa minta lebih baik dari apa yang gue milikin saat ini.

Selamat idul fitri.
Mohon maaf lahir dan batin.


-makasih banyak buat semua yang udah membuat lebaran gue tetap seru. love you all